Navigating Self-Care and Belief Systems

by | Mar 11, 2024 | Health, Well-Being/ Self-Leadership

If you’ve been following my work, you have heard me assert that the only reason you struggle is because you are not okay on the inside; meaning you are not okay with parts of yourself. There are parts of you that you have placed limits around and other parts that you ignore altogether, hoping they will go away. I can remember many days when I really wanted to get away from ME!

You’ve probably heard this enough to understand that you have been creating and adapting beliefs about yourself—your worthiness, your enoughness, your lovability, etc.—your entire life. This belief-building has happened automatically as you observe your primary caregivers (you pick up on what they believe about themselves, and you adopt these beliefs for yourself), and from the way that your caregivers or peers speak to and about you. This foundation becomes your default way of seeing yourself, and your own experiences serve to validate these conclusions.

Now that your beliefs have been validated, they are rooted firmly in place and provide the basis for your sense of safety in the world. Your unconscious mind literally sees any challenge to these core beliefs as a threat to your survival. Therefore, you unconsciously operate from these beliefs, attempting to control and manipulate the world outside of yourself to match your preferences. Even as we remind ourselves that we can’t control anything or anyone outside of ourselves, we still fall into this habit.

I believe that one of the core beliefs that keep us in this state of dissatisfaction (while we chase success and happiness) is because we have adopted the belief that to look after and attend to our own needs is selfish. If this were true, then it makes perfect sense that our only option for getting what we want and need is to attempt to control variables outside of ourselves. This is a perfect example of how we hold ourselves back.

Does some part of you believe that to truly know what you really want and need, AND take action to satisfy these wants and needs is selfish? Listen to the inner chatter as it can reveal your existing beliefs about yourself, and the behavior options you have available to you.

The next time you are tired or find yourself debating if you can take a break, tune into the chatter. Listen to this chatter as if it were a small child you love deeply. Approach the defensiveness with curiosity and invite it to reveal more to you. Emotions will inevitably come up because it is the energy of the emotions that hold our beliefs in place. As the emotions come up, notice if you attempt to resist or contain these emotions. Get curious about that. If you get a sense that this energy isn’t serving you anymore, allow it to move through you. Forgive yourself for ever buying into such a limited view of yourself; regard your unconscious self with compassion and grace. If, on the other hand, you are not ready to let go today, accept this as well. Your transformation will happen at a pace that is right for you.

Are you taking care of yourself, or have you decided that someone else should be meeting your needs?

 Want to explore this further? Consider booking a strategy call for support with me for support.

About This Blog

I’m Mary Meduna-Gross, a professional coach and the founder of Plena Vita, a company that offers coaching services and products to help people rewire their success.

Embark on a transformative journey with me as we challenge the conventional notions of success. In our blog and Fully Alive podcast, discover a unique path that prioritizes energy management, enabling you to effortlessly bring your dreams to life by embracing a state of creative flow.